My love is uncontained.
It is full and flowing,
my heart a vast ocean
teeming with life
and penetrating silence.
I am breathless.
My world is crushed
it is scathingly
Thought is transparent,
Yet I live.
I live in all.
My life is not mine
my body belongs to soil.
I live within emptiness
manifesting as love.
This is virtue.
I love you.
I love the world.
I am a child of this.
I want you to know I have been moved by you; I have deepened, I have become more aware. When I meet you I discover myself and it is the expression of Life Itself moving through your form, my own self alight in you that I discover anew.
I feel deep and living love thriving in my heart, breathing out, beautiful in the world like a thousand robins floating in the muted winter sky this morning, all singing, filling the air with sublime music. Life is a miracle playing itself out each moment of the day in our bodies. This living organism that Earth is, our breath and bones, the ancient water of the land, the sky, the sea, our breath. Yes. I am renewed today as I pause a moment to reflect. This extraordinary natural world that we inhabit is truly a miracle.
And our capacity for expression and compassion, to expand and include... there is such an awakening in the human mind as the darkest ignorance and horrors are exposed; we are all moved.
As I open to confront what has been ignored deep in my own psyche, I witness the reflection of this in the world at large and it is painful but I am willing and I am paying attention and the changes come. There will be more. It doesn't feel comfortable or peaceful at all. It is deeply disturbing inside and out but this is the time of the great unveiling - Right Now.
I have become a disciple of Self Inquiry and there are many who are choosing to stop and rest in silence now.
This is where True Abiding Peace is to be found, as even the most sublime beauty experienced through the senses is fleeting. What satisfaction the mind may find is temporary as it picks up the next thought and it is tenacious, it is restless, it wants to "find out"! The importance that has been placed on thinking has obscured the deeper currents of existence and our personal worlds have become limited to reacting. Many have fallen into trance.
Stopping for a moment to be still, there is true rest. Identification is cut and deep peace is discovered, like a vein of gold in the darkest hardest stone. This is who you are. Bright and pure and unbound.
This rest is pure Manna - nourishment that is unfettered by outcome or past experience. There is great potential in the willingness to stop. It is the willingness to cut out the root of suffering, the willingness to end the story of the past or the future. It is the willingness to be free, just as you are. The Truth is revealed and the mind is healed of its addictions. Yes. The search is over.
This has been my experience. This is the birthright of humanity and it is time, Now.
I have just come from Amsterdam with Eli where he asked me to offer sessions in support of students who came to participate in his 5 day Introduction to the Enneagram of Character Fixation retreat. The Enneagram is such a powerful tool to see and it is best used for seeing ones own fixated responses. This kind of seeing is essential - before this there will be projection onto the other. It is a simple fact that the mind will do this so there must be a burning desire to know the truth of oneself. This desire will carry one into the depths of identification and through to the "other side", to the simple recognition of all that one is, Here. Gangaji has said, "...the truth is so simple it is overlooked" and I find this to be true. For those that have already given their lives to this, the sessions are over in a matter of minutes. I simply guided the person to examine what was arising in that moment. In the willingness to give ones attention to it, what ever was arising was seen to be the truth itself, revealing itself through the fixated behavior. Discovering this was so blissful, and we often found ourselves laughing tears out of our eyes as the holographic miracle of life was revealed instantly.
By simply giving ones attention carefully to what is arising in the moment, the truth is revealed; life is revealed. It is truly so simple it can hardly be stated. But the commitment must be to be true. Not just a commitment, but devotion. Devotion comes out of falling in love. When one discovers the simplicity and ease of being - the fulfillment that is ones very life, it is natural to fall in love! This is what we are! This is what our lives are expressing, naturally!!!
The Enneagram is a tool for self inquiry - a way to unveil the habits of mind, body and emotion that come from a lifetime of identification as a somebody. It is a way to hone ones attention powerfully so that one may become more aware of ones own suffering and the suffering we cause. It opens one to clarity and wisdom in the space that would otherwise have been occupied with habitual coping strategies that run subconsciously. It has been an essential and powerful tool in my life.
What I noticed in those who's minds were wrapped up in self judgement and addicted to doubt and drama, was that the sessions were lengthy and complicated as we navigated through the maze of thought only to find that the commitment was missing. When it came to "putting your stake in the ground and not moving" (as Eli has said) there was hesitation, "what if...??" "How will I...??" The imaginary future took precedent. How is it that some are willing and some are not?
There are three things that come to mind: Grace, disillusionment, and receptivity. Without grace, none of this is even remotely possible. Grace is the power that will bring disillusionment to a life of mediocrity. How many of us are living our lives in a trance, fixated on T.V. or our day to day dramas, or the future, or the past... giving our attention away away away and with it our lives carelessly spent and then finished? Disillusionment is a Holy Sacrament, it is the necessary element which goads the ego to the search for something better. It is the beginning of awakening to the truth of ones nature.
A teacher is the answer in form to the disillusioned minds prayer for help. This is living grace, and to be open, to be receptive... to surrender to this grace... this is a blessed life given to love. This is a life of fulfillment that is present now, as ones own life. Who knows how it will unfold? It is a life that is given to the truth. This is my experience every day - deep contentment, not contentment that is sleepy or that comes from some sort of happiness with my circumstances. This is contentment that abides in that which does not come and go. It is natural and simple. It is radical too, for it requires total surrender. It is, already, who you are, whether you are conscious of it or not. The word that comes to me now is, "Yes". Say yes, say yes with your entire being and be held in That which has no name. Revel in the glory of this and discover deep abiding love that has it's source in you. You are that which is free. Give yourself to it. Let Love consume you and even that which you have avoided will be used for Love's divine purpose - your life.
We are so blessed that we have been given the opportunity to ask and to discover what it is we want for our lives in the deepest sense. In this discovery there is the opportunity to give your life to that with impeccability. Freedom, Love, Peace are your true nature irrevocably. The tendancy of the mind is to look for that in circumstances. Circumstances will not give lasting fulfillment; though they may line up in a way to bring great happiness, it is a trick of the mind to believe that this is the source of the happiness. In the willingness to give your attention to what is unchanging, the source of deep, abiding peace is found living inside your own life. You are this source. You are free to choose it. Be impeccable. Support is in every aspect of your life, and it becomes evident in this choosing. Consciously make every breath be "Yes." to the Living Truth of yourself. Your life will reveal it to you - through every aspect. Turn your attention to this now.
I met my teacher Gangaji when I was 31 and my life was changed from that moment. I was watching a video of one of her satsang meetings and had an experience of the tone of her voice coming into my heart. She spoke four words that changed my life: "Be your natural self." It was the secret key to the door of freedom for me. It was as if a great fire was lit in the core of my heart and it had all of my attention. Yes, and I gave it my attention.
Within 3 years I was living in Bolinas, Ca, having left every thing to be near her and discover if it was indeed true that a human being is capable of real abiding love. What I have discovered in her presence is that it is so. That True Love is what we are. It is the driving force of our lives, all of our lives. How can this be in this world of violence and carelessness? What a perfect question to ask oneself "How do I turn from love?" She instructed me through her teacher Sri H.W.L. Poonja (Papaji), to stop. To lay down all of my "powers". To me that meant to give up my very name, the role of my gender, and the concepts of myself collected over a lifetime of coping; of being Lisa. In a moment, it was done, as she and the Masters of her lineage had shown. In less time than can be measured, it is possible to realize the truth of ones being. Ones true nature is inescapable. And the desire to question has been rare. So in this brief time I have given my life entirely. It is radical, and I will say I have given it to HER - but who is she?
She is the Self Itself, as all is, as I am; naturally, effortlessly. Through her I have been opened to loving completely. The faults of this personality, the weakness of the physical body, the limitations of the mind are all what has been opened to loving, and all is included. Nothing is excluded. I have been blessed to meet my True Teacher and to be held fully as all the doubts were finally released. My life is a perfect conduit, as all life is, for the true light of love to express itself unfettered. I stand for this, for the Truth, and for all to awaken to their true nature. My life is given in support of this. There is nothing I love more than this.
Right now my heart is so filled with the blessing of having true friends who reflect sweet loving silence to me, steady and true no matter what drama is unfolding in my life. I am so very grateful for stillness in the face of movement, unflinching honesty in the midst of the story, inclusion of it all with a welcome home to satsang at the center of the swirl of emotion or circumstances.
I love the fullness of all that life brings, and that love finds its root in reality where stillness is the medicine - not indulgence. The times in my life where I have followed a story of suffering into a constructed "rabbit hole" of reality have been many - a habit which has used up its usefulness for myself as the teller in first person, or as the helper - another type of story altogether, becoming no less caught in the web of egoic desire to assist.
I am free. I am the fullness of what is freedom itself - all arises here - and life itself is the devotion to this. I cannot begin to express my deep gratitude to the blessed friends whom I adore and cherish and who meet me here in the center of the center unfailingly, as True Love Itself, conscious and aware of itself - living.
Thank you my Beloved Gangaji for pointing my life to this True meeting.
Is in love with what is true and good and real and her life is given to that.